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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?